1. Don’t Get One
Your body is not a canvas. Canvas is a canvas.
Look at it this way: Would you stitch a pair of blue jeans onto your hips in order to keep that look forever? Or nail that great brown cowboy hat on your skull? Probably not – unless you’re a maniac or from Cessnock.
Having a tattoo means you can’t then not have one. It means you can’t change it for occasions, or update your look. You can only get more and more, until you look like a cross between a leopard and a burns victim.
2. It Doesn’t Make You Tougher
You have the idea that getting a tat makes you tougher, because real men like Todd Carney have them? OK. Here’s the juice.
In 1960 Leonid Rogozov was a very promising surgeon, but one day he decided to jack it in and join a Soviet Antarctic expedition as the expedition’s doctor, assistant meteorologist and heavy-vehicle operator. Rogozov spent thirty-six days at sea, withstanding wind chills of -140 degrees Fahrenheit. While he was out there, he developed peritonitis and made the decision to make a 5-inch incision across his abdomen and remove his own appendix! He couldn’t see what he was doing, so he operated by feeling alone. He didn’t have a tattoo.
Bruce Lee, known to be the most influential martial artist of all time, and founded the Jeet Kune Do martial arts movement. He was renowned for his immense level of physical fitness and his determination to become as fit & strong as he possible could.
- He could do one-hand push-ups using only the thumb and index finger.
- He could do 50 one-arm chin-ups
- He could make a 136.08kg bag swing and thump the ceiling with a sidekick.
- He held a v-sit position for over 30 minutes.
- He DIDN’T have a tattoo.
Aron Ralston, the guy who amputated his own right forearm with a dull knife in order to extricate himself from a dislodged boulder and inspire the film 127 Hours. What’s that? No tattoo? Even if he did have a sleeve, it’s gone now.
3. Buyer’s Remorse
According to a survey done in March 2013, one third (34%) of Australians with tattoos say that they regret, to some extent, getting a tattoo. One in 7 (14%) have commenced or looked into tattoo removal.
Here are some of their responses:
“It is my ex-boyfriends initials… now means little but serves as a reminder to think and then think again before I get another tattoo.”
“I really wanted it at the time – it’s been nice but now I would remove it.”
“I was young, only 18, and wasn’t thinking clearly at the time. I’m glad I only got one.”
4. Because Alcohol
Telling tattoo artists they can’t do their work on intoxicated people is akin to saying McDonald’s can’t serve overweight people – to quote a Monty Python skit “our sales would plummet”. They rely on bad decision-making, and alcohol goes a long way to helping that.
When have you ever done something whilst drunk that you’ve summed up the next day with a “I’m so glad I did <x, y and z> after those 9 pints and 4 jager bombs”?
If you are going to get one, plan it AND get it while sober, otherwise you’ll quickly learn the art of Remorse Code.
5. Make sure you can cover it up
Don’t be a Diplodocus and get one on your face, neck, forearm – anywhere that you can still see while you’re sitting there in front of a management panel at a job interview. Because you won’t get the job. It shows poor planning and rash thinking by the individual.